Your honour, if it pleases the court I would like to give a brief summery of the facts.

In the instant case Mr. X (not his real name) is charged with the offence of ‘pulling a sickie’ to get out of work.

During the week of the 11th November 2009, Mr. X, a 48-year-old district judge [for an English County Court] skived his work in order to play the hit game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Judge X had queued outside his local HMV store at 11pm on the eve of the games release in order to secure his copy. His craving for the seemingly violent game was, as he put it, “Like Charlie waiting outside the chocolate factory”.

Instead of giving those convicted a fair trial, Judge X decided to spend his time gunning down innocents in airports and killing Russians. This later led to him “feigning sickness to get out of his commitments despite the chaos that would inevitably follow”.

Now ladies and gentleman of the jury, I submit to you that the defendant should be guilty despite the fact that Call of Duty: MW 2 is pure awesomeness, but because, to quote a friend of mine:

‘Real Life > Xbox360′