I think it may be the impending arrival of my 30th birthday that has finally pushed me over the edge. Or maybe it was the foul mouthed little bugger on Modern Warfare this afternoon. Either way I’ve had enough. It’s time all children were banned from xbox live.  In the 5 or so years that I’ve been on the service I’ve been greeted with a constant stream of young morons who, if they are to be believed, have all slept with my mother. The poor woman would have barely had time to come up for air.

If they’re not telling me about their sexual exploits with my mother then they are most likely telling me how I must be gay, or singing me the latest chart nonesense down the mic, or spamming me with messages, or using the latest glitch to kill me, or moaning at me for losing a game when they were the one at fault. You get the idea. Sometimes the only way to avoid all of this is to unplug the headset, but if I have to do that then what’s the point of xbox live?

Perhaps I’m being too harsh and advocating punishing all for the sins of the few, after all I’ve met plenty of younger gamers who are mature beyond their years. Maybe if microsoft were to put an age filter on games so that I could choose to play with only over 18′s then that could work. On the other hand it would only take one slipping through the net to ruin the experience for oldies like myself. No, banning them all is the way forward. Just like they will be shortly banning all electronic devices onboard planes to prevent the one in a billion that is a bomb, we should ban all children from xbox live to eliminate the idiots.

Of course, I know that this will never happen. Microsoft is only really interested in the almighty dollar and I don’t blame them for that. So thank goodness for party chat which reduces my exposure to the little hellions. That at least gives me a glimpse into what live would be like without the children, and that is a beautiful place indeed.