I’m sure you guys will have noticed that there’s been a lack of any interesting news on 360G just lately. Well, there’s a good reason for that: the gaming world is saving up all of it’s juicy pieces of information for the upcoming E3 spectacular. As always the expo is surrounded by intrigue and guesswork when it comes to exactly what will be announced or shown. I’ve decided to wade into this mystery swamp to provide you with some certain to be accurate (in my head anyway) predictions.

1: Natal will suck

Whatever they decide to call it, Natal is Microsofts big hope for the show. The new name will be announced for certain, not that anyone really cares what it’s called. The only games that will be shown for it will be the type of shovelware ‘party games’ usually only inflicted upon wii owners. There will probably be some celebrity endorsement from someone who forever after will lose any lingering repect I have for them.

2: Reach will be overhyped

Bungie games always get massive hype from Microsoft and reach is going to be no different. E3 will mark the beginning of the journey for the hype train and the game will doubtless be introduced to great fanfare at the show. The actual gameplay shown will be somewhat underwhelming and leave us with more questions than answers. Someone from the audience will probably shout a comment about how much they love Halo.

3: Gears 3 will look awesome

Somehow, Cliffy B (sorry but that’s what I’m calling him, deal with it) will manage to outdo his previous legendary chainsaw entrance. He will probably enter the stage riding on a Brumak and using the rocket launcher to fire T-shirts into the audience. The campaign will be shown in co-op with not one, not two, but three of his friends from Epic. One of them will be a buxom blonde who just started working for Epic that day and has no idea how to actually play. The game will look absolutely awesome and we will all be left wishing the time away until release.

4: GTA V will NOT be announced

One of the big rumours doing the rounds over the internet is that GTA V will be announced at E3. Just to be different I’m predicting that it won’t be

5: Peter Molyneux will make Fable III out to be the greatest game ever

Mr Molyneux is no stranger to the hype train, and E3 this year will once again see him talking up his latest release. He will try to convince us all that Fable III really is going to be the greatest RPG of all time and he will make the claim that Fable III delivers on the promises he made before Fable I was released. The actual game itself will look almost exactly the same as Fable II and the demo will end with the death of Molyneux due to his head being so far up his own ass.

Well, that’s it for my E3 predictions. Hopefully after the show we’ll be able to get back to actual news oncemore!